As winter closes in and the days grow darker, a little warmth and connection go a long way. At FINDRA, we know how important community is, especially when life gets busy and cold.
That’s why we’re delighted to welcome Rachel Weiss, founder of Menopause Café. Through open conversations and supportive gatherings, Rachel is helping people navigate menopause with honesty, humour, and belonging.
Her message of slowing down, listening to your body, and finding joy in small moments outdoors feels perfectly timed for this season.
Hi, please tell everyone where you are based and what you do!
Hi, I am Rachel and I’m based in Perth, Scotland. I work as a counsellor, coach and trainer at Rowan Consultancy, which I founded in 1997. I also volunteer with Menopause Cafe charity, which I started in 2017, to raise awareness of menopause, through pop-up discussion groups held online, and in person, in communities and workplaces.
What’s your favorite way to spend time outdoors?
Walking, sometimes backwards, cycling or dozing on a rug in the summer sunshine in our garden. I also like sitting on our garden bench for a few minutes of stillness at the start of the day, noticing.
Can you share your favourite, memorable outdoor adventure or experience?
I have three that I will always remember.
Walking through the Grunewald, Berlin, and coming across a herd of wild boar in a clearing. I was scared and amazed.
Volunteering on Duke of Edinburgh expeditions. Camping outdoors felt like a safe-enough adventure since I was in a group. I felt like the rookie, but the children looked to me for guidance.
Walking to Glen Lyon at Beltane, to visit the Cailleach shrine ,which was festooned with flowers, lard and Brigid crosses. We met a pagan druid who let us join his ceremony.
How do you manage to find a balance between being active and life’s other responsibilities i.e. work and family?
I don’t, it’s a work in progress! Things that help are;
- Meditating and praying for a few mins most mornings. If I miss that for a few days my balance goes askew.
- Going for a lunchtime walk at 1pm each weekday, come rain or shine. I find walking or any rhythmic movement, helps move my thinking on, and work through my frustrations.
- We all work remotely at Rowan Consultancy, so we have coffee breaks together on Zoom, and often start these with the Radio Taiso exercises or other stretches.
- I aim to run 5K a week, from our front door or at a parkrun. I can fit this in around home commitments.
Is there anyone in particular that inspired your love of the outdoors?
My father, Robin Weiss, has always loved the outdoors. Some of my happiest childhood memories are getting up early to go blackberry picking with him, despite the dew, the thorns and the spiders webs. It was calm and quiet and a special time with just the two of us. Dad also picked mushrooms, having learned how to identify them from his German Jewish refugee mother. He makes jam, and can identify many flora and fauna.
Robin Weiss, Rachel's father
My parents would drag us on walks. We would complain asking what was the point, since you end up where you started, but years later I found myself dragging our children on walks too!
What role does nature play in your mental well-being?
A large one! Nature puts my problems in perspective and connects me with creation and the Creator. During lockdown I did an excellent online course on Nature Bathing, which opened my eyes to slowing down, hugging a tree, spotting all the things of a certain colour, feeling the grass beneath my feet, using all my senses. It was so good I did it twice and am still reaping the benefits.
The sense of awe in the presence of creation helps put my troubles into perspective.
What’s the one piece of gear or clothing you never leave home without on an outdoor trip?
Gloves. I feel the cold and can’t trust the weather, so always have a waterproof jacket and a pair of gloves, however sunny it looks when I set out. When I moved to Scotland, I quickly learned to always be prepared for rain,!
When did you discover FINDRA?
Earlier this year I went on a course on somatic psychotherapy. As I get older, I’ve become bolder at complimenting people when I like their look. One of the participants was wearing this striking grey jumper, it had stripes on the arms, a cowl neck, and looked finely knitted, light to wear and compact to stow away. On enquiry she enthused about the ethical values of FINDRA, that it was female-founded, and local.
I browsed and signed up for the newsletter. Then I spotted an Edinburgh therapist wearing a Marin top, this tipped me closer, I must be more susceptible to peer pressure than I like to think!
Eventually, I bought a beautiful aubergine Marin top, which I am wearing as I type this: on the train to rural North Wales for an 8-day silent retreat at St Bueno’s.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
To be “good enough” rather than perfect. I am a recovering perfectionist. It was very helpful for me to start accepting myself as good enough, without needing to be perfect.
That we need to do load-bearing exercise to protect our bone and heart health post-menopause. I picked this tip up whilst volunteering at #FlushFest menopause festivals. I needed to hear it a several times and be asked to do the Perth Santa Run as a fundraiser for Menopause Café charity before I reluctantly started the Couch To 5K programme, with several false starts and managed to jog for 30 mins. I remember being thrilled when I managed 20 seconds!
Rachel with husband Andy wearing Menopause Café T shirts after the Perth Parkrun
I’m now a parkrun fan, although not a fanatic. I enjoy the sense of community, diversity, inclusivity and being able to drop into a local event when I am in a new city.
On writing this blog, what do you feel is the key motivational or inspirational message you would like to highlight to our followers that would inspire them to get outdoors more.
Microdose! or Half a loaf is better than none! Or Every little helps!
In other words, get out to just walk round the block, and if you feel like it go further. Or commit to just 5 mins of exercise rather than none. This is what helps me get over my inevitable inertia to go outdoors on a dreich winters evening.
After decades of focussing on others’ needs and asking “What do I need to do now?” or “What’s next on my to-do list?” menopause is forcing me to slow down, listen to my body and ask two alien questions “What do I need?” and “What do I want to do now?”. I invite you to ask yourself these, and be patient as the answers emerge.
Conclusion
Rachel’s reflections remind us that even small actions, a short walk, a moment of stillness, or a breath of fresh air, can make a difference, especially in the darker winter months. Her message is clear: menopause should be part of everyday conversation, not something to hide.
Find your nearest Menopause Café, online or in person, at www.menopausecafe.net and help make menopause visible by wearing their merchandise at www.menopausecafe.org
You can also support the charity with a sponsored run, cycle, or climb. Every little bit helps. Maybe we can gather a Team FINDRA for a charitable activity?
Lets show everyone that menopausal women can embrace life, get active, enjoy the outdoors, and push their boundaries, breaking free from the doom-and-gloom stories about older women.
Sunday Inspiration
Favourite Trail
I was turning 45 and thought I was getting old and stuck in my ways. So, when friends invited me to walk St Cuthbert's Way with them, I said “yes”, despite never having walked more than a day. Then I got worried I wouldn’t manage a whole week. I needn’t have worried: the walk was a joy. Even when the weather was wet and the ground boggy, that wonderful feeling of arriving in a warm, welcoming B&B, relaxing in a bath, enjoying a warm dinner, cosy fire and full breakfast! The views took my breath away, inspiring a sense of awe. I liked starting the day walking in silence, only talking to check directions, since I feel more in touch with nature in silence. Later in the day we would talk, but the beauty of walking in a group is that I can choose whether I want to walk alone or in silence alongside someone, or in conversation with one or more peregrinos.
We’ve had a walking week together in each of the 15 years since then and become firm friends, supporting each other through life events including injuries, worries about children and bereavements. Being together 24/7 walking and talking, we’ve got to know each other very well, despite not seeing much of some of them for the rest of the year.
Favourite Quote
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. This doesn’t stop me telling them the impact of their behaviour on me, or that I don’t like it when they do something, but it reduces my anger or any implication that they shouldn’t be behaving that way, which is less angst for me, better received by them, and more effective!
Favourite Song
Seeing Red - From the Official Soundtrack to "Riot Women"
Currently I am loving “Seeing Red” and “Just like your Mother” by ARXX, in the TV series Riot Women by Sally Wainwright.
